Thoughts of a lonely heart

I want to talk about being single. It’s tough being single and over 40. The dating pool is shrinking. Our confidence is shot especially when you put yourself out there via dating services, blind dates or organically meeting someone.

When no one is responding to your online presence or if you’re out and about and you find it hard to meet the opposite sex, it can kill your self-confidence.

What happened to me stuck with me for a while. If it wasn’t for writing I would have been an emotional wreck. My pain and sorrows went into my dating diary. I poured my heart into my writing, “Thoughts of a lonely heart.”

I hear a lot about being ghosted. Here we have men and women who want to date a lot of people before choosing one person or they’re not interested in you, they disappear.

What happens if you’re dating someone and you catch feelings quite quickly? Well, not the quick but faster than I anticipated.

That’s what happened to me. I met someone organically and caught feelings. I saw him every Friday at the supermarket. We finally decided to exchange phone numbers and pick a place for a coffee date.

We had a couple of phone conversations. The conversations were lopsided but enjoyable. I carried the conversations. It didn’t bother me. The type of job he had, he worked 90 plus hours a week. He didn’t have a lot of life experiences being at his job for 25 years and working a considerable amount of overtime, didn’t allow him much of a personal life.

After our coffee date, I didn’t see him for two months. We talked on the phone when he decided to call. When I called him, he wouldn’t answer nor call me back. It wasn’t all the time but it happened more often than it should have.

We would make plans but they got canceled, due to him working overtime or the weather. This all happened during the winter months.

When we finally had our second date, we had a ball. He was such a gentleman. He was so attentive. He made me feel so special. I saw myself being with him on an intimate level that never happened. I listened to my inner voice.

Our conversations when we had them consisted of him telling me how much he loved being around me. I needed to be taken care of. I deserved to be pampered. I mean he was really pouring it on. He would send me a good morning text every day.

Then what little phone calls I would get stopped. The good morning text he sent every morning stopped. He never invited me to his house. Things weren’t adding up. The red flags were flying.

My feelings were hurt. I really thought I found someone who I could be with. I was so wrong.

I finally sent a series of crazy text letting him know I knew there was someone else in his life. He denied my accusation. I really went off. I couldn’t hold myself back. I found out later he was seeing someone else. I thought I was leaving singlesville.

Every day I kept asking myself, why did I let this happen to me. I’m a good person, why can’t I attract a good man.

I couldn’t stop the pain. That’s why I started a dating diary, thoughts of a lonely heart, (click here). I had to release the pain. In the diary, I wrote little lines that helped me get through the pain.

It took some time before I got him out of my system. I did it through my writing. Thoughts of a lonely heart, (click here). saved me months of heartache.

When you’re feeling pain, write. It will help you to heal.

Okay, I know this was a little dismal but that’s life. Life isn’t filled with happiness every day.

So on that note, stay cool, classy and keep on killing it. Never give up. Never look back, You’re never too old. Never be denied.

Peace
Kimberly, Xoxo

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Cheers

Everything is better over cocktails or coffee, kah

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2 Comments

  • Kimberly I am truly sorry about the pain you endured. I am happy to know that you were able to release that pain in your writings. Given you the ability to continue to help others. Thank You Kimberly! Happy New Year’s!

    • Thank you so much Mark. It was so easy to write those little sentences and release all that energy. I think I found my true calling, writing.

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